Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Chapter 11 : Can't Leave

Suddenly the door just opened and it was Minho. He was still in his pajamas and his hair was out of place. He seemed very excited when he saw the little boy. “Ah! Yoogeun-ah!!” he had a huge smile on his face and picks up the boy and he sure liked it a lot when his appa picks him up from the ground. They were giggling and I just shut the door hard. ‘THUMP!’ goes the door. Minho spun his head around from looking at Yoogeun to the door in front of him. “What’s wrong with her?” he thought but his attention was back at Yoogeun when he just rubs his appa’s cheek as a sign that he misses him dearly. They went inside together while I was practically on the ground, leaned my back towards the door thinking if I should cry or just forget about him instantly. My mind couldn’t focus very well that morning. I was really late for work. I didn’t care about what I was wearing and just grabbed my laptop and stuffed it into my bag. I was really absurd that morning. I turned the knob to get out when I noticed Minho was walking out of his apartment. I avoided eye contact and walked away without answering his calls to me. I think he called my name five times but I ignored them all.

I already set my mind on work as I walked to the director’s room and as usual some surprises await me in that room. This time it was a lady. As soon as I sat down to where I usually sit, I didn’t even look at that lady’s face and just hand in the script for the third episode to the director with a bitter smile stamped across my face. My emotion was affected by the incident this morning. Suddenly the lady spoke “Omo! Aiman ssi?” I looked at her face in disbelief. Great, another encounter in my life! When will this madness ever stop? “Rachel ssi?” I said. The director looked at Rachel and back at me and then Rachel and it seemed like it went on forever. “You know each other?” he exclaimed. “Ne (yes), we met a long time ago” she looked at his face and then me “Right, Aiman ssi?” I don’t know why but that smile was somehow has an eerie feeling when you’re watching a horror movie. “Ne…” I only answered in a low voice as my heart doesn’t feel at ease about this. “Good. Another great job Aiman ssi. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an urgent meeting to attend” the director stood up and left the room when he popped again by the door and said “Rachel ssi, please tell her why you’re here and Aiman ssi, keep up the good work okay?” and left us both in the room. For the first few minutes, it was so quiet that I could hear the clock ticking for every second. Then, she finally talks about the reason she was here. “The director offered me as the lead woman and I took the chance right away” I really didn’t expect that but there were some questions that kept running in my mind. Why did the director chose her? I’ve never seen her on screen before and suddenly she’s going to be in my drama? Where did she go all this time? I don’t know why but why does everyone I know is a psychic? “Actually I got a lot of offer from other producers to be in their drama but considering that the director of this company and I are very close, I accepted this offer after I heard that the director would be promising me for the best drama there had ever been” I think that I might have to get used to this kind of situation. I tried being nice to her by handing the script to her and she took it with her left hand which she covered it with her red Prada handbag. Something shines and sparkles when she took her hand out. Maybe I was exaggerating but the ring that was on her finger really shined brightly in front of me eventhough the lighting in the room was actually dim. As I handed her the script, she notices me glaring at her ring and she just rubes it around as if it wasn’t sparkled already. It was a gold coated ring with a ruby resting on top of it. Then, something came into my mind. Maybe Minho and Rachel did get married and had a child? I stared to the corner of the room when suddenly Rachel tapped the glass coffee table twice just to get my attention. I was actually shocked by that. I turned around and felt sorry for being careless. I explained everything to her about how the first and second episode goes considering she just pops up when it’s already the third episode. It seems that she wasn’t focus to what I was saying because a lot of complaints were coming out of her mouth non-stop. “Aiman ssi, I heard that Minho is going to be in this drama too right? What was his role again?” She flipped the pages of the script. I just rolled my eyes and try to listen to her ‘honest’ comments “Oh, right here. You know what? Maybe you should add some conflict in it. The director gave me the rough script you written. I think the love triangle you’re plotting in between the princess, the head doctor and the king would be a lot better than for them to fall in love with some regular peasant. Plus, my character is too nice as a princess. Make it more into the evil side a bit and in the end turn her into a good princess again” I thought she was going to stop there but guess what? Her last comment was even worse than the previous ones. “Oh! Cry! Give her crying scenes. A lot! Got it?” Huh, cry? She’s supposed to be the tough princess that never cries for her entire life. If she cries, the whole plot would fall into pieces. “Rachel ssi…” I took a moment to take a deep breath and wanted to blurt everything out when someone just barges into the room. “Rachel ssi, don’t you think you’re a bit over on those complaints?” Woo Bin exclaimed. Why does everyone have to cut in my lines? He stared at Rachel for a while and told me to left the room. I took the chance right away to just get her out of my sight.

As I was walking home, there was one comment that kept running around in my head. “I think the love triangle you’re plotting in between the princess, the head doctor and the king would be a lot better than for them to fall in love with some regular peasant” I guess she was right about that. I think a plot about two men fighting over a poor girl is a regular thing now. Maybe I should take note of her comment and decided to change the plot just a little bit and I’m pretty sure that when she gave it a read, she would love it. I guarantee. While walking back to the apartment, I took a turn and went to the park instead to get some ideas on writing a new plot. I sat at a bench which had the beautiful view of the lake and trees around the lake as if it was a picture coming to life. After dribbling some notes, I took out a small sketch pad that I always kept with me to just enjoy nature and draw it as memories. Cameras? They aren’t just my thing. Drawing is better than taking a still picture to me because when you draw, there would be a lot of things passing by, interactions between the livings and sometimes the movement of the clouds and water. As I was talking to myself while drawing at the same time, a little girl came running to me and handed me a pair of earphones and an iPod. She shoved it into my hand asking me to listen to it. A soft melody of piano being played.

A sigh weighs me down carefully
And won’t let me sleep, yeah                                                        
I tell my empty heart that it’s a fool
“Why can’t I cry even though I’m in pain?”


                The beat was so slow. Every word, I listen attentively. Not missing any single detail.

I can’t
The days that were so beautiful
Even the times we hated each other
I miss them so much, I can’t forget them
Come back again, yeah


                Suddenly a flash of images when Minho and I were little, shot into my mind. Then, the rapping part came in. It was Minho’s voice.

I hate myself for trying to erase you without regrets
I really hate my heart that’s holding onto you again
When I think of you, my day filled with sighs is so long
When I sometimes see the river,                                                                                   The words “I love you” won’t float away


                I felt hot tears running down my cheek when I heard those lyrics. Every single words has its own meaning.

I can’t leave
Girl, you’re more precious than I am
Come back again
Tonight, yeah, yeah


After a few lyrics more, the song ended. When I looked up, Minho was in front of me with a handkerchief in his hand. I took it and wiped my tears dry. He was just smiling. I smiled back and he sat beside me. He took the sketch pad from my hand and flipped to a new page. He chose the blue coloured pencil and started to dribble something on it. He showed it to me and it read “Why did you cry? Are you happy or sad?” I took it back and wrote one word beside it with a red coloured pencil. “Both” We took turns in writing on it.

Happy because…?
It was really sweet of you
Sad because…?
The words were touching
Did you like the rapping part?
Yes. It’s really nice. You wrote it?
Yes. Just for you              


                It was the happiest moment that I could ever have with him but there was one thing that bothers me that day. The presence.

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