Chapter 8 : Ace and Kai

Kim Woo Bin, a famous actor in Korea. Known for his good-looking face and charismatic acting. I sat down and was a bit shaky when I handed the script to the director. “I’ve finished the rough script. I hope you could give me an honest critic” While the director was reading the script, I couldn’t help myself but notice that Woo Bin was looking at me as if I was wearing the wrong clothes for work. He looked from my shoes until my face. I admit, I was in a rush this morning for waking up late and accidently put on a t-shirt and a cardigan for work instead of a peach-colored blouse that I’ve prepared the night before. It was a gift from mom. I just ignored him. “Just like what your aunt said, you’re always making a spectacular job on writing scripts for a drama that promises high-ratings” The director was praising me but I felt ashamed so I denied everything he said. “How could you say that it could get high-ratings if you only read a rough written script?” Suddenly Woo Bin said to the director making me upset with his comment. “That’s what you’re here for” My eyes got widen when I heard what the director had just said. I took a glimpse at Woo Bin’s face and he seems like he couldn’t believe it either. “But sir, you told me that you’re going to give me a six months rest” “Change of plans. I heard about her excellent job in making such wonderful scripts, I decided to make you the lead. Besides, you’ve rested enough” The director said, making it clear for Woo Bin to understand. He just leaned back to the sofa with a betrayed expression stamped across his face. “Aiman ssi, now your REAL job has begun” The director said smiling at me. I just smiled back but when I saw Woo Bin’s face, my expressions changed. Seeing him so pissed off as if it was my fault, made me feel like smacking him in the face. I asked for my leave and as soon as I got out of the room, I was cheering from happiness. I couldn’t believe that a famous actor would be the lead for my first written drama. I already knew that Kim Woo Bin was a part of this great company but I never thought that the director would give me this opportunity. I put aside Woo Bin’s attitude earlier and just to be happy in writing the greatest script for a promising high-rating drama. I’m very certain that this would be a success because of Kim Woo Bin’s appearance as the lead.

I was skipping happily into the elevator when I noticed Woo Bin was going to ride it too. So I refrained myself from being too happy. “Are you really that happy when knowing that I would be in your drama?” he said, right after the door closed. I didn’t answer him and ignored his snobbish attitude. “Well, if you really want me in it. Make it a good one or else…” he turned around facing me with a serious face. “Or else what?” I finally spoke because I couldn’t handle him staring into my face as if he had never seen another human being before. He just giggles and as soon as the door was open, he walked out and turned around “Or else… quit” The door closes with that sinister smile on his face stuck in my head and the word ‘quit’ in it. “What?! Quit?! Who does he think he is?” I said to myself and let out my anger after hearing what he just said. A call came and it was Sulli. I was really shocked because we haven’t talked to each other since a while now. We talked a lot on the phone. I was practically talking to myself since I left the building, on the bus and until I reached in front of my door. We said our goodbyes and I was about to unlock the door when I realized that there was someone behind me, watching me. I turned around and there was no one. I felt chills running down my spine. It couldn’t be a ghost since it’s still early. I brave myself for the worst when I heard something fell at the end of the corridor. I walked up to it, switched on the light and saw a huge pile of junk. I looked around it and there was no one. So I turned around and was about to walk away when I heard a faint sound from the junk. “Meow~” It was a kitten “Meow~” Two kittens to be exact. One was gray with black stripes on it and the other was brownish gold. They were so cute. I looked at their necks and there were no tags on them. So I decided to take them with me and give them some water when suddenly Taemin appeared out of nowhere with a bowl and a carton of milk in his hands. “Aiman ssi? What are you doing with Ace and Kai?” “Ace and Kai? Are they yours?” I was surprised. If he had taken care of them why are they hiding in the pile of junk and how come they don’t have tags on them? I asked those questions to him while bringing them into my house. I put them on the floor and let them play with some of the yarns that were on the table as decorations. Taemin was about to feed them milk when I stopped him. “Taemin! What are you doing? Don’t feed them milk or their fur will shed off” “Oh, really? I didn’t know about that” I exchanged the milk from the bowl with clean water instead. Taemin just watches them play around. I was waiting for him to answer my questions but he seems like he doesn’t want to. He was trying to avoid eye contact. “Taemin ssi, do the others know you’re keeping them?” I asked a random question and all of a sudden Taemin blurted out. “Ah! Please don’t tell them! Please! I beg off you. If you tell them they would be pissed off. Actually I wanted to keep them in the apartment but we couldn’t keep pets more than two. So that’s why…” Suddenly Taemin stopped his words and looked at me with those eyes. “Oh, no! I am not keeping them for you. They’re yours so you take care of them. Plus, if I go to work, who would take care of them?” “It’s okay, they know how to take care of each other. They won’t be a burden. I promise you. Please? Okay? I really love them so much” Taemin begged and pleaded. In the end I accepted but there were a few conditions that he had to keep. “First; food, sand, sandbox, water and other necessities, you pay. Secondly, if the others ask who they belonged to I have to say they’re yours. Thirdly, if there were any severe damages to my house, you pay for it. Got it?” “Ne (yes), I accept these conditions!” said Taemin while giving a salute as if he was in the army.  I laughed at his attitude. “Why did you name them Ace and Kai? And which is which?” I asked Taemin. “Oh, the brown one is Ace because she likes running around and jump over things. Kai is the gray one because it reminded me of Kai” “It’s a he?” I asked. “Ne” “Who’s Kai?” “Oh, you don’t know? He’s in another boy group in the same company, EXO. We’re really close” Taemin explained.

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That night, I was working really hard in writing the script for the first episode. While I was taking a rest, suddenly Ace jumped over me and I brushed her fur. She seems really cute. Kai, on the other hand was sleeping on the bed that Taemin bought earlier. Maybe helping Taemin in caring for them wasn’t such a bad idea. Seeing them both gives me the energy to continue to the second episode. While I was typing, the doorbell rang. It was Minho. He entered and the first thing he saw was Ace running around in the living room. “Since when do you keep a pet?” “Actually, two… pets” I said while pointing to where Kai was sleeping. Minho doesn’t seem to be bothered by their presence. “What are their names?” Minho asked. “Ace and Kai” “Kai? How did you come up with that name?” Minho seemed pretty shocked hearing Kai’s name. “They’re not mine. They’re Taemin’s” “Taemin?” His eyes became wide as if it was going to pop out of his head. I explained everything to him and he seems to understand the situation. “So… do I get to be the lead in your first ever drama?” he seems really excited with my answer but I assured him not to be so happy about it. “Actually, they’ve already decided who the lead would be and I’ve already asked about you and they said that you could be the second lead male in this drama” “Oh, really?” his expressions changed “Who’s the lead then?” “It’s Kim Woo Bin ssi” “Ah? Chincha? Wah… Daebak (the best). It’s going to be a successful drama I bet” Even Minho couldn’t believe it either. “What character am I going to be?” he asked. “You’re the head doctor in the palace” “Wah! So, I’m a person with high knowledge then? I’m going to be so cool” “Ani (no)” I replied instantly “You’re actually more of the unfortunate citizen who just happens to be selected as the head doctor by the king for your stupidity” I wanted to crush his hopes of becoming a person with ‘high knowledge’. “What? Really? But that would just make my image become even worse than ever” he sounded like he was so disappointed that he could cry a river. “Don’t you know? With your image as an idol, acting in a historical drama as the stupid head doctor, it would be the greatest hit in the filming industry” I ended with a laugh. “Hey, that’s not a bad idea” he seems to be liking what I just said even though it was actually a joke. “Don’t you have anything else to do? I’ve got some work to finish” “Arasso (alright). I was just stopping by to see how you’re doing but seeing you already had company, I’ll just leave then” he looked at Ace and Kai as if he was jealous of them. He stood up and walked to the door while I was busy typing on the laptop. Before he walked outside, he saw a picture that was on the dresser by the door. “Oh, isn’t this our picture?” “Which pic…” I stopped when I saw him showing the picture that was in his hand. The picture that once sent him to the hospital.

Chapter 7 : 'Feelings'

“Hello?” said Danny after a long pause. “I’ll call you back. I’m sorry” I said and switched the phone off. I knew that he would be really pissed off but what’s most important right now is… Minho? He just smiles and said “Annyeong (hello)” I greeted him back. I don’t know why but the atmosphere became awkward. “Are you staying here now?” he said to break off the awkwardness. “Ne (yes)” I replied simply. In my heart was a mixture of feelings - happy, sad and confused. It became silent again. My mind went completely blank. I didn’t know what to say or respond. I was stiff like a rock. He even looks like a statue, just standing there in front of me with that smile. Oh, how I miss that childish smile of his. Suddenly, I felt like crying because of joy not because of sadness. “I didn’t know you live here…” my voice trailed off because of wanting to refrain myself from crying in front of him. “Uh, that’s because I didn’t tell you about it. Are you here because of another assignment?” he asked me. “No. I already graduated. Mom wanted to move here. So… I moved…” Not knowing what to do next I asked for my leave when suddenly Taemin appeared. “Hyung, we have to go now or else we’ll be late” he walked out the door and looked at Minho. He didn’t see me so I said “Annyeong, Taemin ssi” he turned around facing me and was startled “Omo! Aiman ssi? Is it really you? Hyung, this isn’t a dream right?” Minho simply shook his head denying that it was a dream. Taemin looked at me again in disbelief “Are you moving here? Our new neighbor?” “Ne, Taemin ssi” I answered. Minho looked at his watch and realized that they were already 10 minutes beyond schedule. He took grab of Taemin’s arm and said “Aiman ssi, we’ll talk again later okay? Pali (hurry) Taemin. We’re late” Then, they were out of sight.

I locked the door and started walking to the park. It was spectacularly beautiful. The trees and the lake that was crystal clear. It was just amazing. After walking along the trees, I sat down on a bench and remembered about Danny. “Hello? Danny? I’m so sorry for hanging up on you earlier” Then there was a silence. I couldn’t hear anything from the other side of the line. “Are you mad?” “No, I’m not. It’s just that…” Finally, he spoke. “What’s wrong?” I asked out of curiosity. “I want to ask you an important question and please answer it honestly. Don’t hesitate with your answer, okay?” I knew things weren’t going so well because I could feel the tense building up within this conversation. “Did you… did you ever…. did you ever like me?” That certainly surprised me. “Danny... I... um…” I didn’t know what to say. Actually I do, it’s just that I was afraid that I might hurt his precious heart. “It’s okay, just tell me. Don’t worry, my heart is as tough as a rock… or steel… whichever is tougher” he said. I wanted to laugh at his joke but immediately I confessed. “I’m sorry Danny for making you suffer all this while with my lies. Are you sure you’re okay?” I was wondering if he was tearing at that moment. “Oh, okay. I’m fine. Absolutely fine. No worries. Thanks for being honest with me” Then, he just hung up. It’s already the third time my relationship never started but ended… well? I guess? Oh, what’s wrong with me? I don’t even know myself. How am I going to live this life and find the one true guy?

I left all that question at the park and went back home. As soon as I enter, it was still full of boxes. I realized that I only unpackaged a third of the whole boxes. After 2 hours dealing with those boxes, the bell rang. ~Ding Dong~. I opened the door and it was Minho and Onew. “Aiman ssi!!” Onew screamed and almost hugged me but he realized that if he did that than it would just make me feel awkward about it. “Hehe.. Aiman ssi, long time no see! How are you doing?” said Onew after sitting on the sofa in the living room. “I’m fine, thank you” “Wah~ How come your house seems bigger than ours?” Onew looked around in awe. “It’s because it’s still empty, hyung” Minho answered Onew’s question. “Ah, yeah. Didn’t think about that. Aiman ssi, here is a housewarming gift!” Onew handed me a box full of fried chickens. “Thanks! I’ll eat them later tonight” I said, smiling at him. He just frowns after hearing what I said. I knew the reason he got me fried chickens instead of a proper housewarming gift was because he wanted to eat it. “You know what? It’s no fun eating it all alone” he seemed very happy after getting the good news “Haha… Daebak (the best)!” I went to the kitchen to get something to drink. Fortunately, I already bought a dozen of canned drinks. While I was in the kitchen, Minho took a stroll on the house and saw there were still some boxes left unopened at the corner of the room. “Aiman ssi. Actually, another reason we came is to help you with handling the boxes” Minho just said while I was putting down the canned drinks on the coffee table. “What? Oh, no thanks. There are just a few more. I can handle them” I said didn’t want to burden them. “Are you sure? Because if there are any heavy things that you couldn’t carry, call us? Okay?” Onew said to me while digging in the fried chicken. He seems very happy indeed. I didn’t want to spoil his appetite by helping me doing all the hard work after a day of going on stage and singing. It must’ve been a really tiring day for them. Suddenly the bell rang. “Oh, it must be them” said Minho. “Nugu (who)?” I asked Onew. When I turned around it was Jonghyun, Key and Taemin. “Annyeong, Aiman ssi!!” Jonghyun almost screamed after seeing me again. “Wah, nice house. Needs a little bit sparkle though. SHINee sparkle.” He said while grinning a sinister smile at me. I just laughed. “Sorry we’re a bit late. There was a heavy traffic” Taemin simply said while digging in the chicken with Onew. “It’s okay, you didn’t have to come” “Oh, really? Then, Jonghyun. Let’s go back home” Key said as a joke while pulling Jonghyun’s arm. “Ani, don’t go yet. Actually, I miss you guys a lot. It’s been a while since we last saw each other” I really didn’t want them to go just yet. That night, we laughed a lot. I feel that maybe moving back to Korea wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

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The next day, I went looking for a job as a scriptwriter and got it after meeting my aunt’s friend who runs one of the famous companies in the filming industry in Korea. As soon as I got home, I decided to start writing a rough script to show it to the director. It was really tiring but the result came out nicely done. It’s a historical drama set in the Goryeo period, 700 years ago. There would be actions, a little bit of comedy but of course the main genre is romance. After finishing it at about 2 am in the morning, I decided to have a walk at the park. I knew that it was really late and I needed to take a rest to make the presentation a success for tomorrow. As soon as I locked the door and turned around, it was Minho. He seemed as shocked as I am. “What are doing still awake?” he asked first. “I just want to take a walk at the park” “Alone?” he asked again. “Ne (yes)” I answered simply. “What about you?” I asked him next. “I was going to take a walk too” He shoved something behind him and it was a black plastic bag. I knew that he was actually going to throw the rubbish away but I guess that he wanted to join me. Before he could open his mouth, I offered him to join me and he simply answers yes. After throwing the rubbish into the dumpster, we walked along the sidewalk in the park. It was really cold that night. I forgot to bring my sweater so I just bear with it but I guess he felt the same way and saw me not wearing a sweater so he handed me his jacket. “Gomawo (thanks)” he smiles and asked to sit down first on a bench. I wanted to ask him how he was doing after the incident at the restaurant but I just couldn’t open my mouth as it was really freezing. “I didn’t saw you since this morning. Where did you go?” he asked. “Oh, I was looking for a job” “So, did you get it?” he seemed anticipated with my answer I don’t know why. “Ne, I got a job as a scriptwriter” “Really? So, have you write a story yet? Can I…” he didn’t continue with his question but looked at me with that childish smile. “What? You want to act in my drama? Can you act?” I asked back at him. “What? Are you underestimating my ability in acting?” he said as if he was really upset with my questions earlier “Okay, if the director says okay. Then…” Suddenly he jumps from the bench and yelled “Chincha (really)?! Thank you! You know, I really wanted to be an actor besides a singer” he seemed really happy. “And since it’s your drama, I would act really well for you… YOUR boss. I meant, I would be a great actor… for your boss, the director” I couldn’t hear his last words because I felt my ear were going numb from the coldness. I stood up and said “Okay, Minho ssi. I have to go back now, it’s really late” I turned around when I felt my hand was being pulled. “Wait, Aiman ssi” I turned around, it was him holding my hand. “Do you… still have… ” he paused “Have what?” he looked down to the ground and back at me “That feeling?” My eyes were wide open after hearing the word ‘feeling’. I tried denying what my mind was saying. ‘The feeling that you like him’. “What… feeling?” I tried talking but I could only hear my teeth chattering. “The feeling that you had for me” he said “Uh, Minho ssi. I really have to go now. I might wake up late” I tugged my hand out of his grip and walked back home with his jacket still on my shoulders. I didn’t want to think about what happened earlier and went straight to bed.

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After printing the last script, I went straight outside and took Minho’s jacket which was on the dresser by the door. As expected, he came out and I just handed him his jacket hoping that he won’t mention about what he said last night. “Gomawo” After he said that, I was about to walk away when he called me “Aiman ssi” I froze. “Please don’t say it! Please don’t say it!” I was yelling in my mind. “Make sure I get to be in your drama, okay?” “Whew…” I said to myself with a feeling of relief. “Why did you sigh?” he asked me. I guess I sigh really loud that he could hear it. “Uh, okay, I’ll make sure of it” I turned around, facing him while giving a smile. I didn’t know if I gave him a real or fake smile. As Aiman walked outside the building, Minho was still upstairs watching her leave for work. Every step she took, Minho would just be observing until she disappeared when she took a turn at the corner.

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While I was in the bus, I wondered if he forgot about last night or he just knew that I would avoid him even more if he was ever to speak about ‘feelings’. I greeted the workers while I was on my way to meet the director to hand in my script. As I entered, I saw a man sitting facing away from the door. I couldn’t see his face. “I’m sorry for intruding your meeting” I was about to leave when the director called me to sit down with them. As soon as I saw his face, I was completely shocked. It was Kim Woo Bin.

Chapter 6 : The Bracelet

A cool breeze was blowing my face. Feet being touched by the salty sea. The colour of orange fills the whole sky. The shining sun makes the water shimmer in this very late evening. Gazing out into the sky, a tear dropped and the sea brought it along with them. Probably, it already went to the other side of the world. For that few moments all to myself, my mind was blank. Nothing to think about. Taking that few moments to just not think about the world, the people around me, the challenges I’ve encountered but somehow one thing surely made me shed that tear… Him.

“Aiman!!” I wiped my tears and turned around. It was my friend, Clara. “Come on! The food are ready!” she yelled because of the long distance between us. “Okay!!” I yelled back and started to run to her. We walked together leaving my reminisces behind. “Hey, what were you doing at the shore earlier? Reminded about your boyfriend huh?” Jake teased me while cooking the meat on the grill. “Nothing. What? I can’t spend a quality time to myself?” I said back to him. “What are you guys talking about? Her guy is right here” A man just suddenly appears out of nowhere and sat beside me. He supported his gigantic head with his hand, tilted just a bit into my direction and looked at me like I was a little girl. He was smiling from ear to ear. “We still haven’t declared it yet. Don’t get your hopes up. I might reject you this very moment” I said back to him while copying how he looked at me, supporting my head with my hand and tilted a bit into his direction. He just laughs, stood up and helped Jake to cook the meat. We were having a barbeque to celebrate our graduation. It was a really nice plan that Jake come up. “But remember, you’ve got until tomorrow to declare our relationship” said Danny but he didn’t even look at me. His eyes seem to be focus on the meat that was cooking. Then, Clara giggles all of a sudden and she almost choked. I giggled back because she got what she deserves for laughing at me but in my mind, I was thinking about what Danny said earlier; about declaring our relationship. To be honest, I wasn’t ready yet because I kept remembering about… Oh, you know who. I knew that I had to move on. So that’s how I met Danny. I didn’t reply to what Danny had said earlier and just focused on eating the delicious meat that Jake had prepared and cooked.

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That night, we took a stroll around town and went to some famous sites that tourists had been to. We came across a small store just at the end of the road. The auntie was selling bracelets. They were hand-made bracelets. Then, there was one that caught my eye. It was a bracelet which had a blue star charm attached to it. Somehow it reminded me about… Ah! What am I saying? Stop it Aiman. Stop thinking about that guy and just focus on your holiday. Suddenly, “Auntie, how much is this bracelet?” Danny asked the auntie who was sitting on a chair just across him while pointing at the bracelet that my eyes were locked on. “5 dollars” she answered with just two words. “Then, give me this one and that one” he pointed to another bracelet which had the same charm on it but in the colour of red. She placed them in a small black plastic bag and handed it over to Danny, exchanging with the money that was in his hand. They smiled to each other and I just pretended that I didn’t know anything. At the time, Jake and Clara were already ahead of us. I don’t know since when they have abandoned us at the small store. “Where are Clara and Jake?” Danny asked me while making a shocking expression on his face. I knew he was just pretending to be shocked as actually he was glad that they had left him alone with me. “They left us. Maybe they already went back to the resort. I think we have to go back…” I said while facing away from him. “Come on, let’s go have a walk by the shore” he didn’t seem to be bothering with what I was saying and pulled me by the arm. “Danny!” I tried explaining to him that it was already late and I was really tired at the time but then, I found myself walking with him by the shore. We had a deep conversation and suddenly he stopped. I was still walking not realizing he had stopped two minutes ago. I turned around and he was gone. I looked around and couldn’t find him. “Danny? Where are you? Don’t leave me here all alone. I’m scared of the dark. Remember?!” It was completely dark and even if there were a few people around, I couldn’t see very well during nighttime. Suddenly, I was sitting on the sand with my feet being touched by the sea. I hugged myself as I was really at a panic mode. “Danny… Where are you? ... Why did you leave me? ...” I said to myself while crying a river. “I’m always by your side” An eerie voice was heard by my right ear and I turned around. It was Danny. I hit him on his shoulder and he yelled in pain “Ouch!” Seeing his expression made me laugh a bit. Then, I hugged him “Don’t you ever do that again…” “Okay, I won’t” He wiped my tears off and suddenly kneeled down as I stood up to refrain myself to stop crying.  His action certainly made my eyes open wide. He took out the bracelet that he bought earlier and said “Aiman, would you be my girl?” I didn’t answer to that question. It wasn’t because I was mad at him but because of something else… Minho. Suddenly, he frowned a bit. “It’s okay. I know you’re still shocked about what I did to you earlier.” He said standing up and just puts on the bracelet which had the red star-shaped charm on my hand. “Okay, let’s do it like this. If you accept me of becoming your guy, wear this tomorrow. If not, you know what I mean right?” Then, he puts on his bracelet and walked me to my chalet. Along the way, I didn’t say anything. I just entered my room without looking back. “So… How did it go?” Clara asked. I went deaf, threw myself onto my bed and slept.

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The next morning after packing everything up, I went back to the beach and just wanted to feel that cool breeze one more time before going back to the urban city where I live now. Suddenly, a guy appeared beside me and certainly gave me a fright. “Boo!” Actually, I’ve become used to his tricks “Oh, hello there ghost” I said back while keeping my eyes straight through the horizon. “Aiman, you’re no fun anymore” I could tell that he was frowning a bit. “What’s wrong? You seem…” I don’t know why but I couldn’t hear the rest of Danny’s words. So I turned around and saw his eyes looking at my left hand. The bracelet. “Aiman!? Really?!” he kind of shouted by my ear making me go deaf. “Yahooo!!” he shouted even louder and went running around the beach. I didn’t know that getting a girlfriend would be the happiest thing for a guy. I just smiled at his attitude.

The four of us got into the car and started our trip back home. Danny was driving and beside him was Jake. I sat behind him and suddenly a call came. It was mom. “KOREA!?” I shouted and accidently bumped my head to the car roof. Everyone looked at me and Danny was the most curious one out of the three. I hung up my conversation with mom and looked outside the window and my mind went completely blank. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Clara asked me. “Uh, nothing. It’s just that my mom. She  wanted us to move to…” I looked at Danny through the mirror and he didn’t seem too happy about what I was about to say next “…Korea” “How come?” Jake asked me. I looked again at Danny. This time, he had a frown on his face and didn’t even look back at me through the mirror. In my mind, the conversation with mom still rings around in my head. “We’re going to move back to Korea, the four of us. Dad got a promotion and he is required in Korea. You can find a job there and we already found an apartment for you to live in” That certainly made my day. I said to myself.

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Before leaving the airport, Danny came running to me and had a smile on his face. I thought that he would be sad that we had to part ways but I guess not. “Aiman, always remember me okay? And wear that bracelet I gave you. Don’t you ever take it off! Okay?” I just smiled as a reply. He gave me a farewell hug and afterwards, I never saw him again.

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After helping mom settling down with their house, I left them to go and check my apartment out. It was on the fifth floor. My things were already sent into the apartment. So, all I have to do next is unpackaged them all. I entered my apartment and saw a huge stack of boxes. I surely had a rough time cleaning things up. Considering that I’m alone and I had to do this all by myself. After taking a rest, I decided to take a stroll at the park I saw earlier that was on the right side of this huge apartment. When I walked outside of my apartment, I noticed that the neighbor in front of me came out too. Suddenly a call came, it was Danny. Ah! I forgot to tell him that I’ve arrived 4 hours ago. He is going to be so mad about it. “Hello? I’m sorry I didn’t…” my voice trailed off when I saw the person in front of me. “…Minho?”

Chapter 5 : The End...?

He was rushed to the hospital. I used his phone to call his manager and arrived minutes later. I explained everything to him. I was still in shock at the time. I hoped that everything will be okay. A doctor walked up to us and asked “Are you the guardian for Choi Minho?” “Ne (yes)” said the manager. “Was he ever involved in an accident once?” the doctor asked again. “I don’t know about that. Wait, I’ll contact his brother and ask him” he searched for Minho’s brother’s contact number in his phone. “But, what was his name again?” The Manager murmured to himself. I recalled that Minho did have an older brother. He was the same age as my sister and they went to the same high school before. “Minseok oppa?” I said to myself. “Ha! Yes, Minseok” the manager suddenly yelled by my ear and called the number on his phone which read Minseok.

The doctor let us in after examining Minho. I just sat by his bed and only looked at him. He was still unconscious at the time. “Wake up Minho! Please wake up! Open your eyes!” I was yelling in my heart and he still didn’t wake up. I felt like crying but at the same time I encouraged myself that everything will be back to normal. Suddenly, the door open wide. I turned around and saw Minseok by the door. He seemed completely shocked after seeing me in disbelief. He walked up to me and said “Aiman ssi? Is it really you? What are you doing here? What happened to Minho?” just like his brother, he asked a lot of questions. “Minho suddenly fainted when he saw a picture of us 7 years ago” I only answered his last question as it was the most important one at the time.

We walked outside of the room and he explained everything to me. It turns out that after Minho recovers from the accident he had amnesia. Just like what Sulli told me before, he only has his memories from when he was born until he became a student in Incheon but he doesn’t recall any of his friends. What’s even weirder than that is, it seems like I have never existed in his life. Minseok tells me that when Minho returns from the hospital, they send him back to his room to give him a good rest. “There was a photo on the bedside that you both took when you went to the theme park once. Minho asked us who the girl was in the photo. We were shocked because you both had been friends since you were both young. We couldn’t believe that he didn’t remember you at all.” Minesok told me about it. “Even after that, we tried recovering his memories again about his friends and you but every time we did that he would suddenly have a painful headache and sometimes collapse. Even if he tries remembering it by himself, he would only hurt himself more. After that, we decided not to force him recall his memories and just move on” I felt very depressed about it. I cried once away when I knew that he would never recall me back in his memories ever again. I regret everything about abandoning him after the incident at the playground. I wish I could turn back time and never leave him alone again. Then, Minesok went to see the doctor and I entered back into the room. The manager already left the hospital to inform the rest at the dorm. During that few moments, I held his hand and I could feel his sufferings. The pain that he had to endure during that whole time, being alone. No one by his side to soothe his agony. If only I was there with him. I fell asleep by his side after crying, regretting myself for being so cold to him before.

Suddenly, a finger on Minho’s other hand starts to twitch. His eyelids began to open. His vision was still blurry. He was really confused at the time. Where am I? What happened? Questions started running into his mind non-stop. He looked to his right, it was Onew sleeping soundly. “Hyung?” Minho’s rough voice certainly woke Onew up from his sweet dream running around in his own world with chickens. “Oh, Minho! You woke up already? Wait here, I’m going to get the others” Onew sprang out of his chair leaving Minho alone in the room. Minho who was still confused, lifted his right hand and felt it still warm as if someone was beside him for a long time, holding his hand tightly. He knew it wasn’t Onew because when he woke up earlier, he didn’t saw Onew holding his hand. Suddenly, Jonghyun and the others burst into the room and had smiles on their face as they were very relieved after hearing Onew told them that Minho have woken up. “Yah, had a nice sleep? Good, because you need the energy left for rehearsal” said Key as if he was a bit upset that Minho had been unconscious for a long time and made them very worried. Minho lifted his body to get comfortable sitting on the hard hospital bed. “What happened to me?” Minho asked the others. “You don’t remember?” They asked back. “If I do, why would I ask such a silly question?” Minho answered back. Then their manager interrupted “It’s okay. What’s important now is that you’re awake” “Wait, where’s Aiman ssi?” Taemin asked Jonghyun. “She already went back to Malaysia this morning” “Ah, really? I wanted to give her something before she goes back home” Taemin said with an upset voice. “She went back already?” said Minho as he was recalling to what happened to him that sent him to the hospital unconscious. Then, he remembers the photo that he saw before. It was a familiar photo which he had seen 7 years ago after returning from the hospital. “I think I met Aiman ssi last night. Right?” he asked the others and they replied yes. “Okay, that’s it. You guys go back to the studio and let Minho rest a bit” said the manager suddenly. “Where’s the cafeteria? I’m hungry” Taemin said while leaving the room. Minho lies down and closes his eyes to just sleep again after meeting the others but there was just one thing that kept appearing in his mind. “Who was the little girl that I met in the dream?”

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Meanwhile, I was still in the aeroplane. Wondering if he had woken up or not. Suddenly, a tear fell from my cheek while looking outside the window. My heart ache so much for leaving him again alone to endure this agony. For every second leaving Korea, I felt like a knife was slowly tearing my heart apart. I had to leave because mom called me to come back home after leaving for a while. As soon as I arrived back home, I started doing my assignments. I was working on it until I realized it was already 3 am in the morning. Before going to bed, I went through Minho’s photos one last time and didn’t felt like crying because I knew that we would meet again one day.

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While it was 3 am in Malaysia, it was 4 am in Korea. Minho suddenly woke up from his sleep and went to the toilet as nature was calling. When he came back to his bed, he found a bag on the table by the bed. He opened it and there was a teddy bear, a brown teddy bear. With it was a letter saying “A friend told me that if you make your own teddy bear and give it to the one you love, he or she won’t go away –From a little girl in the past-” Suddenly, he smiled. He decided to sleep with that teddy bear in his arms. In his sleep, he said “Gomawo…. Aiman ssi”. 

Chapter 4 : Confused Feeling

“With Aiman ssi?” Onew asked. “Aniyo, what are you talking about hyung-nim?” Minho just said it while facing to the other side trying to avoid eye contact. Onew just replied “Mm… okay” and left the room. “Why is my heart beating really fast when hyung-nim mentioned Aiman’s name?” Minho questioned himself while analyzing the book. He kept remembering the moment when he was in the car with Aiman earlier. He was driving along the road and realized that Aiman already fell asleep. Suddenly, he spoke “Are you asleep Aiman ssi?” he just whispers not wanting to wake her up from her deep sleep because he knew she was tired filming the whole day. He just giggled and said “Kyeopta (so cute)”

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I rose up from bed and it was already noon. I guess I was so tired from yesterday, I overslept. I remembered receiving a message from Syaoran last night but because I was too tired to even lift a finger I didn’t reply right away. I checked my phone again and there was another message saying “I’m sorry for texting you suddenly last night. I knew you were already asleep as you didn’t reply my message. So, I’m just texting you again to tell you that I’ll be waiting at the café this evening” I realized that if I were too late I just might not get to see him again. There was a chaos at that time as I was trying every clothes that I had to dress up nicely to meet with Syaoran later on. I arrived at the café just in time. I guess I was a bit early because he wasn’t there yet. I waited for him to show up. He came and sat down. “Syaoran, I’m really grateful for your gift. So, I wanted to th…” Suddenly, he stopped me and spoke. “Aiman ssi, to be honest. It wasn’t me who gave you that teddy bear” as soon as I heard that from his mouth, I took aback and stuttered a bit. “Oh… re-really? But Minho said…” Then, I realized something. Even on the letter that came with the teddy bear, it didn’t mention from whom. “Well, if you’re saying that it wasn’t you I guess it was someone else then” I said with a bit of disappointment. “Actually, I wanted to tell you the unspoken words from before were…” Somehow I didn’t think that those words “I like you” from the dream would be the words that are coming out of his mouth. I was really hoping Minho would show up and stop this madness. I knew I just have to accept the consequences. “The unspoken words from before were, even if I’m not around, there would always be someone to love and care you when I’m gone and that someone is Minho hyung” It totally ruin my fantasy and felt like crying at that very moment but when he mentioned Minho’s name, my tears were hold aback. “I knew that you had a heart for me but I don’t deserve that. Maybe you don’t realize it but at that time, there was someone else who had a stronger love for you than I did. Right now, I really hope that you can see him carrying his love for you” I didn’t know what to do next but just stare into his eyes and yes. He’s telling the truth. “All this while, I thought you were the one but it turns out it was only a one-sided love” I felt difficult saying those words because it felt like there was a huge lump stuck in my throat. “It’s not too late for that one-sided love to be complete” Those were the last words I ever heard from him. The REAL last words. He stood up and left me at the café alone with my sadness to accompany me. As soon as he exited out of the café, I started to shed tears. It felt like it was raining and my tears just keep falling until there were dry. A call came, it was Minho. I just couldn’t answer it because he might only hear me crying than me talking. After I regain myself, I called him back. Hoping he wouldn’t hear me sobbing but it seems he was smarter than what I thought. “Aiman ssi, waeyo (what’s wrong)? Are you okay? Why are you crying? Did someone made you cry?” Instantly my heart stopped beating. Those questions are the exact same questions he asked me 7 years ago. At that moment I just wished he was there with me to comfort me. For that few seconds, I thought. Maybe I need to open my heart again for him? I felt my willing to help him get his memories back became stronger “Where are you?” he asked “I’m at the cinema. I’m watching a sad movie” I said trying to cover up. “I’ll just call you later then” Minho said “No!” I didn’t want him to just hang up. I feel that I still need to hear his voice a bit longer to ease my pain. “It’s okay, just tell me why you called” “I want to invite you to din… I mean, I wanted to give back your book. You left it in the car last night. I’ll text you the place and time” I decided to take that chance to tell him everything about our past.

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We met that night at the place where he wanted to meet. It was a restaurant just at the corner of the town. Of course he reserved a private room so that no one could recognize him as Minho from SHINee. I entered the room and it was just beautiful with a chandelier on top and the table was decorated just nice. He stood up from his seat, pulled out my chair and I sat down. He looked so handsome with the suit that he was wearing. “Aren’t you hungry? Let’s order!” he just looks very nice that night. I didn’t want to reject his kindness because I wanted to repay the lost time that I wasted for being so cold to him for the past 7 years. The dinner was very delicious. He handed me a bag and in it was my book. He must’ve wanted to give it to me in a special way because it was nicely wrapped. It was very sweet of him. “Actually, while the book was in my hand, I tried reading it but it was written in Malay and I couldn’t understand. Could you explain it to me what it is about?” I unwrapped it and the synopsis was in Malay so I translated it for him. “A love-line started to form between two people. At first the girl had struggle because of her partner. He lost his memories in an accident once. Will they be able to form the perfect love-line and keep it strong till the end of time?” My voice trailed off at the end. Somehow I felt that the question was actually redirecting to the both of us. “Wow, it seems like a very interesting book just by reading the synopsis, right?” I just nodded. “What’s the title of the book?” he asked “Close Your Heart. Come to think of it the title seems strange. What does it mean?” I wondered by myself when suddenly, he spoke. “It means the girl has to love her partner and then close her heart with him inside of it so her love for him would be eternal” I was amazed with his words “How did you come up with that?” I asked “I’m a singer and also a songwriter. I guess my years spent on writing songs about love made me understand things like this” he said it with confidence and those few minutes certainly brighten up my day after a lot of crying. After that talk about the book, I felt like it kind of gave me some support in making that love-line between us stronger. I figured that maybe I don’t have to recover his memories from the past because we can always make new ones.

After that long talk, we were about to leave when suddenly something dropped from the book. It fell in front of Minho. He picked it up and suddenly he touched his head as if he was attacked with a serious headache, a painful one. “Waeyo?” I asked “This… this…” and suddenly he fainted to the ground. I took a look at the photo and it was a picture of…. us 7 years ago

Chapter 3 : More Work

The next morning, I checked the group wall of my class on Facebook and it turns out that our lecturer wanted us to film the idols choreography for extra credit. I remembered my past marks weren’t really satisfying. So, I texted Minho to make an appointment and it was decided on that evening at their dance studio. While waiting for 5 pm, I charged up my camera battery to film their dance later and surfed the internet to open their website for further details. When I open the gallery, I noticed myself going through Minho’s photo only. I felt like my heart was racing fast. I quickly shut my laptop off wanting to get rid of that mysterious feeling. My eyes wandered around the room as if it was searching for something and it found a teddy bear, a gray teddy bear that Syaoran once gave me. I only looked at it and didn’t want to hold it because I realized the clock on the wall was already 4.30 pm. I jumped out of the chair that I was sitting on, grabbed my towel and went into the bathroom to freshen up. I took a bus and along the way, I remembered about the teddy bear again and because I have Syaoran’s number now, I can text him. So I sent him one “Thank you for the teddy bear you gave me” When I arrived at the studio, it was already 5.10 pm. I felt really bad for arriving very late than our appointment. Jonghyun was sitting on the sofa, playing with his phone while waiting for the other members to show up. I wanted to apologize for being late but thinking that the other members haven’t arrived yet, I decided not to say anything. “Oh, Aiman ssi. Come, sit down first. The other members are still on their way from the dorm” he said with that warm smile on his face. “Why didn’t you come together?” I asked “I was already on my way from home and made my way here instantly” he replied while still looking down on his phone. I just nodded after listening to his explanation. Suddenly, he got up, stretched his arms and let out a huge sigh. “Where are they? They aren’t usually this late” Jonghyun murmured. I was trying to keep myself busy by playing with my phone. Jonghyun just stepped outside for a while. He wandered in front of the studio and then he disappeared.

Suddenly, my eyelids started to feel heavy and the next thing I remembered, I was already in dreamland. I was brought back to the past where I met Syaoran at the playground. Tears rolling down my cheek and he said those words “Please don’t be sad about it and hear out my thoughts first. I wanted to tell you that…” I don’t know why but Minho didn’t appear at all and the words from Syaoran’s mouth were… “I like you” Suddenly, my eyes open wide and saw Minho in front of me. “Aiman ssi, mianhe (sorry). There was a heavy traffic because of an accident and we’re really sorry about it” he said “Oh, uh… okay. Can we start filming now?” I asked with a rough voice because I just woke up. “Ne (yes)” he replied. After that nice sleep, I got my energy back but I kept remembering Syaoran’s words… “I like you” Does it really mean that the three words that Syaoran said in the dream might’ve been the unspoken words from before or it was just a dream that my mind made up? I forgot about that a minute later to focus on filming their choreography. Their dance move was just spectacular and in sync. During recess break, I spent some time jotting down notes that I could use to complete my assignments. “Taeminnie, can you go and buy some black noodles for us?” Jonghyun suggested. Suddenly my stomach growled for hunger and I was completely embarrassed about it. “Oh! I think you need to buy two for Aiman ssi” Onew said jokingly and the other members just laughed. Taemin stood up and said “Aiman ssi, kaja (come on)!” I was a bit startled but agreed to him immediately. We went there by foot and a conversation started “Aiman ssi, how come you’re so good in Korean and understand it very well?” Taemin asked. I told him about my childhood and somehow I felt that we became close for that few minutes.

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We arrived back to the studio. While we were eating, a woman appeared out of nowhere and called Minho “Oppa!!” Everyone just rolled their eyes and shook their heads and the mood from laughter became gloomy. She wore a branded yellow dress, four-inch high heels and a Gucci bag which was the latest one in the season. She ran to Minho and hugged him. Minho quickly pulled away and said “Don’t bother me. I’m eating” She just pouted and took a glare at me with a disgust face. “Wae (why)? Never seen a human being before?” I just said it in my mind. She looked back at Minho and asked “Nugu (who is she)?” “None of your business. Don’t you have anything better to do?” Minho just replied unwillingly and the others just giggle. She just pouts even more and suddenly an aegyo (acting cute) came out. “Oppa~ the reason I came here is to tell you to wear the brown suit that I got you on your birthday for the red carpet next week” Then, the worst thing happened.  She suddenly glare at us with those laser-like eyes and one by one began to stand up, left the group and went to the other corner of the room. Then, she started babbling about wanting to match their attire together for the red carpet. Suddenly Onew pulled my arm to get me out of that chaos. He pulled me to join the others who just ran away from her. Jonghyun, Key and Taemin were already there. “Why did you pull…” before I could finish my sentence, Jonghyun interrupted “Better not disturb those two if you don’t want to get a bite from that ahjuma (auntie)” “Ahjuma? Why are you calling her that?” I asked back. “Because she’s a busybody, that’s why” Key said with an angry voice. “She’s always making a fuss if we don’t give them the ‘alone time’ ” Key continued while making a disgust face pointing to her. “But, Key-goon. Aren’t you just the same as her? Always making a fuss when you’re not wearing your BB cream every day?” said Onew. “Yah!” Key gave a shout to Onew. Jonghyun and Taemin just laughed hysterically. “True, true…” said Jonghyun. “But, really who is she?” I asked again and hoped they would give me the right answer to that simple question. “Rachel” Onew answered “She’s an idol from another company” “But, why do they look…” “Not like a couple?” and again, Jonghyun cut off my line. “They had an arranged marriage by their parents and now Minho can’t back off his family request because of his mother’s last wish to see him getting married before she…” Key stopped and suddenly I said “…dies?” “Aniyo (no)!” Onew denied. “How could you say such a thing?” Key said that to me with a sarcastic face that he likes to make. “Well, you stopped there and I thought she was dy…….ing” My voice trailed off in the end when I saw Minho walking up to us. I just bit my lip hoping he didn’t hear me said ‘dying’ thinking that I wanted his mother to die. “Umma (mom) was going to leave Korea and move to Japan because she wanted to stay there for good” Minho said. “Oh, where’s Rachel ssi?” Taemin asked. “She went to meet with Naeun ssi. Taeminnie, you should go and visit Naeun ssi more. She seems lonely to only have Rachel as her friend.” “I’m meeting her tonight” Taemin explained. “Come on, we have to continue the rehearsal if we want to get it right before our comeback” Minho said while patting their backs. They complained saying that they wanted to gossip more about Minho with me; share some secrets maybe but they continued the rehearsal anyway. I filmed the whole process in deciding the right dance moves and as time pass by it was already 11 pm.

Everyone went back home leaving me all alone in front of the building on that cold night. I decided to take a cab instead of riding a bus. Suddenly, a familiar white car came and stopped in front of me. It was Minho. “Hop on, it’s cold out here plus it’s really hard to catch a cab at this time of the night” I tried declining several times but he insisted me to let him send me back home. I looked around and there weren’t any cabs. He was right. I let out a sigh and got inside of the car. “Gomawo” I said. He just smiles and every time he does that it reminded me to the Minho I met 7 years ago. That childish smile, I still remember that. It felt like the pain of me missing him dearly was healed by the warm smile Minho gave me now but I tried reminding myself not to let myself remember about him anymore. I really don’t want the past to arise again. I remembered a novel that I brought along from Malaysia and decided to read it for a while. My eyes got drowsy and soon I fell asleep again. It was a really rough day for me. I was feeling unconscious but then a sweet voice calling out my name woke me up. “Aiman ssi. Aiman ssi. Wake up. We’ve arrived” it was Minho. I thanked him again and got out of the car. I was walking up to the gate when I realized that he was still there. I just ignored him and entered the house without looking back again. I dropped myself on my bed and seconds later a text came in “Are you free tomorrow? If you are, can we meet at the café where we met before? I’ve got some explanations to tell you” It was from Syaoran. I didn’t reply and went straight into dreamland.

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Meanwhile, Minho arrived at the dorm. Before he got out of the car, he spotted a book under the seat. “I think this is hers’. I’ll just return it tomorrow” he said to himself. He walked into the dorm and everyone was in front of the television watching soocer except for Taemin. He went to meet with Naeun. Minho was smiling from ear to ear. The others were curious. Key asked “Where did you go? The play started an hour ago” Minho just seemed like he didn’t hear anything and went straight into his room. Onew felt really curious because usually Minho would respond right away when it comes to soccer as it was his favorite thing in the world. Of course Onew is such a caring person because he’s the leader and the oldest in the group. “Are you okay? You look… weird” Onew asked while looking at Minho from outside of the room who seemed to be just sitting at the desk while holding a thick book, smiling. He didn’t respond to what Onew was saying. Then, Onew walked to his bed as it was Onew’s room too. He took a pillow and threw it at Minho. He saw it coming and caught it. Now, Onew got his full attention. He just stares into Minho’s eyes and asked “Are you in love?” Suddenly, Minho’s eyes starts to widen.

Chapter 2 : Korea

7 years went by. We lost contact ever since. Even if mom starts talking about him, I would just stay silent and pretend that I don’t remember him but the fact is every single memory about him is still stuck in my mind.

I took major in film and an assignment brought me back to him. At first I didn’t know what to think about this coincidence as something that’s beneficial to me or just had made my life even worse. The assignment was to interview idols from other countries. My aunt came to visit us one day and she suddenly spoke about her friend which was Korean and worked for an entertainment company in Korea. I quickly asked if I could do an interview with one of the idols working there and because my aunt befriend with the CEO of the company it would be easier for me to meet the idols.

Mom approves right away and I arrived just two days after her approval. I felt very happy because I came back to my hometown, Korea. Sulli was there at the airport to pick me up. I was so glad to meet with her again after all these years. She became a very beautiful woman and I envy for her success in study. On the first night staying with her, she told me an interesting story that totally shocked me. A week after my leave, Minho was involved in an accident. As a result of the operation, he had amnesia. He couldn’t remember anything just the fact that he was once a student in Incheon and he doesn’t remember his friends or even, me. Of course I told Sulli that that was going to be the last story about him because I’ve decided to forget about him and just move on. That night, I couldn’t sleep at all and somehow I kept remembering the teddy bear that Syaoran once gave me. Even though it wasn’t from Minho, it felt like he was a part of it too. I hugged it so tightly that I woke up very late the next morning.

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The appointment was at 2 pm. I took the chance to go have a walk with Sulli around Seoul. We went to a lot of shopping malls and suddenly Sulli had an emergency call from her mom and had to go home that very day. She gave me her house key and left me. I would also do the exact same thing if I was in her place. I took a cab and arrived at the building, the SM building. I just walked up and with the permission card that my aunt gave me, I could enter the building with ease. I was told that the idols were really busy these days as they were preparing to release a new album. After meeting up with the CEO and explaining about myself he simply said to enter a meeting room which the idols were having a meeting. I stood in front of the glass door like a statue and suddenly they called me to enter. I was shaking a bit because I was afraid that I would disturb their meeting. I entered and said my greetings. They asked to sit down on a couch which was placed at the corner of the room. They seemed like they didn’t mind at all about my presence and continued their meeting. The room was really cold because of the air-conditioner and a staff there gave me a cup of coffee to heat up my body. I guess they could see me shivering from the coldness. The meeting took 2 hours to finish. Before the idols could leave, the CEO of the company came and told everyone about my presence and the reason for my sudden arrival during an important meeting. Everyone understood and left the room leaving me with the five idols. They introduced themselves to me formally in English but it seemed very difficult for them as they aren’t very fluent in English. So I told them to speak in Korean as I could understand and speak Korean easily. Onew, Jonghyun, Key and Taemin were their names and when it came to the fifth member, I froze instantly when I heard his name for the first time, Minho. In my mind I had a lot of questions whether this was the same person I knew for the past 7 years but I already made a decision not to think about that matter anymore. I woke up from my consciousness and began the interview. We had a good start and laughed a lot at the beginning. The interview was pretty long because of the questions that our lecturer gave us to ask the idols. Every minute, I would stare at Minho and wondered.

After the interview was finished, Onew asked their manager to order some fried chickens to eat. At first I declined their kind offering but they insisted me to join them. While waiting for them to finish eating, I sat down on the sofa again and flipped the pages of my notebook to see if there were any more questions that I could’ve missed. Then, I got a text from an anonymous number saying that he was Syaoran and he was in Korea at the time and asked to meet me at a nearby café. My eyes became even wider and couldn’t believe it for myself. I quickly stood up and asked for my leave. I rushed out of the room and headed my way out of the building. Meanwhile, the boys wanted to leave and go back home but Minho spotted a purple notebook on the couch and decided to leave separately from the others. He flipped the pages and calls a number that was written inside of the book.

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On my way to the café, a call came and I picked it up. “Hello? Is this Aiman?” the caller asked. “Ur… Yes. Who is this?” I asked with a thought that the voice might belonged to Syaoran. “It’s Minho” I felt a bit surprised and disappointed at the same time. “You left your book in the meeting room. I was going to hand this over to you but I guess you already left the building. Where are you now?” I quickly searched around inside of my bag and the purple book definitely wasn’t in there. I told him the location of the café and he said okay. When I arrived, I could see a back side of a man and wondered if it was Syaoran. I took slow steps as my heart was beating fast, I couldn’t believe that I got to see him again. When I saw his face immediately I knew that it was really Syaoran. “Oh, you’re here” he greeted me warmly. I was so happy to see him again. “Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier about my arrival in Korea. I wanted to make it a surprise” “But how did you know I was here?” I asked “Oh, Sulli told me that you would be arriving yesterday. So, I quickly booked a flight and got here this morning” I was still in shocked but it felt weird. Why is he doing this? What makes him wanted to see me so much? Maybe he’s going to tell me the unspoken words from before? A lot of questions came running in my mind. Then, the mood became intense and he starts talking with a serious voice. “The reason I wanted to meet you is to tell you…” I was really hoping that history won’t repeat itself but unfortunately it just did. “Oh, Aiman ssi!” That voice. The exact same thing happened again even after 7 years. It felt like déjà vu. It was very disappointing because I just couldn’t know those mysterious words. I felt like yelling at him but I took aback and remembered what Sulli told me about his amnesia. I didn’t say anything until. “Oh! Minho hyung?” Syaoran asks directly. “Do… I know you?” Minho asks back. Of course Syaoran felt weird and I know that if I don’t stop them then our past would arise again and I really don’t want that to happen. “Syaoran, I’m sorry but can we meet another time? I really have to go now.” I stood up and pulled Minho’s arm right away out of the café. I felt really bad for abandoning Syaoran like that. Before, Minho pulled my arm and right then, I pulled his arm. I was really confused at the time. “Why did he call me that?” Minho asked. “Nothing, it’s just that you resemble someone he knew” I told him, trying to cover up. “Ah, here’s your book” “Thanks” Suddenly it started to pour rain, heavy rain. He opens the car door and said “Pali (hurry), get inside!” We entered his car and I couldn’t excuse myself out because of the heavy rain pouring. “I’ll send you back home” “No thanks. Just drop me off at the bus stand” “It’s okay. Just tell me where your house is so I can drop you off there” I told him where my housing area was and along the journey I got a text from Syaoran. “Let’s meet another time and don’t worry about what happened earlier. It wasn’t your fault” I felt relieved that he understands my situation. All I could say back was “Gomawo (thank you)” I smirked a bit and suddenly a question appears out of nowhere. “Waeyo (what’s wrong)?” I forgot that he was beside me the whole time. “Aniyo (nothing)” I replied. We arrived at my house and I thanked him. That night I got a text from an anonymous number. I thought it was Syaoran but I remembered saving his number before. “Are you asleep? - Minho” I was completely surprised because I never thought that he would text me at all. “No, waeyo (why)?” “Ani (nothing). Sleep well tonight ^^” Suddenly I felt muscles on my face started to make a smile. It was a weird feeling that even I couldn’t understand. Somehow I felt happy about it and hoped to see him again.

Chapter 1 : Childhood

Choi Minho and I met when I was about 5 years old. My family moved to Incheon as my dad had some work to settle there as a navy serving for our country. Our house was at a corner and his’ was just in front of mine. Every morning after waking up at 6 am, Mom helped me to get ready to go to his house as Minho’s mom was a babysitter. At that time he was just a regular 7 years old boy. We played together a lot and he also made me cry a lot too. We grew up together and went to school together. We practically became close like siblings. At school, there would be two boys who are always ready to taunt me every single day. Every time they did that, Minho would stop them by saying “Stop messing with my sister!” and made a very serious look on his face. Soon after, no one even dared to bother me ever again. I couldn’t even communicate with anyone at school and it made me very difficult to study in that kind of situation but the second reason I couldn’t communicate also was because of my mother tongue. I couldn’t speak hangul fluently. Every time the last bell rang, he would show up in front of my face with that childish smile. To me it was very bothersome. Mom reminded me to let him accompany me back home as I was just a little girl and to her it seems very dangerous for me to walk home alone. At first I was okay with it but after an incident happened, I didn’t even want to look at him anymore.

I had a crush with a boy in my class. He was my love at first sight. He was such a gentleman. I fell for him the first time our eyes met. I woke up late on the first day of high school. It was already 7:30 am and the only reason I woke up was because of Minho’s screaming and yelling my name in front of my house. If it wasn’t for him, I would still be sleeping until evening. I was really sleepy and hurriedly rushed to my class. Just as I was about to enter my class I tripped and fell face first. Then, a hand appeared out of nowhere and a sweet voice came out, “Are you okay?” as soon as I heard that voice, I immediately stare into his eyes and fell at that very moment. Everyone looked at me with laughter. “Gomawo” is all that I can say. After that humiliating stumble, I went back to my seat next to the window and the teacher introduced to us a new student. Park Syaoran was his name. He was a transfer student from Japan. His family moved here because his father worked for a great company in Korea. Just by looking at his clothes and school bag everyone knew how rich he was. The teacher asked if there were any empty seats and suddenly I froze. I realized that there was an empty seat behind me but I don’t know why I didn’t respond to the teacher. Sulli, my best friend since 1^st grade told the teacher about the empty seat behind me. When Syaoran sat down, I let out a sigh because I froze earlier. Sulli asked me to what happened earlier but I wanted to tell her about it later. When it was recess, Syaoran asked me where the canteen was and Sulli quickly said to follow us. When we walked out of class, I saw Minho standing by the door with a Tupperware in his hand. “Come on, let’s eat at the school field” he said with that childish smile on his face. “Um, Minho. Today Aiman, Syaoran and I wanted to go to the canteen and eat together.” Sulli spoke and there was a bit of silence. “Can I join?” that was a question which I’ve expected from him as he was like my loving brother who’s always looking out for me. “Sure, the more the merrier!” said Syaoran. I was about to walk with Sulli to the canteen when suddenly she pushed me next to Syaoran and Minho with a flaming burn in his eyes scotch between us and I felt really bad for Syaoran. As soon as we found a table, he started acting up again. He didn’t approve Syaoran sitting next to me but I guess Syaoran already knew the drill so he sat beside Sulli. He just smiles like nothing was wrong even though Minho did something very wrong. After a while since Syaoran came to our school, we started becoming close friends – Syaoran, Sulli and I. We’d even walked home together and Minho would be tagging along.

One day, Sulli told me that it was the last day for Syaoran because he had to move to America with his family. As soon as I found out about that, I was disappointed because he didn’t tell me at all about it. This time, Sulli didn’t join us walking back home. She was a very kind friend for letting me spend some time with him for the last time before he had to leave. On our way home, we passed a playground and he asked me to stop there for a while. We sat on the swing and suddenly things became intense after that. He told me about his leave and I just pretended that I didn’t know anything but somehow tears started rolling down my cheek. He stood up, walked up to me and said “Please don’t be sad about it and hear out my thoughts first.” At that moment, all I was thinking about is to stop crying and listen attentively to every word that he was about to say. “I wanted to tell you that…” Suddenly, I heard Minho calling out my name and it totally ruin the moment. He approached us and saw my red soaky eyes and started accusing Syaoran for such foolish things. “Are you okay? Why are you crying? What did he do to you?” he asked a lot of questions. Even though I tried explaining to him, he just wouldn’t listen to any of my words. “Could you let us talk for a while?” Syaoran asked. “No! You already made her cry and I wouldn’t let that happen again” he looked at me with a serious face. “Come on, I’ll walk you home” he just pulled my arm and I tried stopping him from behaving that way. After we left the playground, I managed to get my hand out of his grip. “Why are you doing this? Why are you always getting in my way? You’re not even my boyfriend. Why would you interfere in my life?” I started crying and yelling at him. I ran as fast as I could and fortunately mom and dad weren’t home at the time and I could cry all I want.

That night, mom dropped a bombshell. She told us that we had to move back to Malaysia because dad had to go overseas a lot. So, dad made a choice. The whole family stays in Malaysia as it was our homeland and mom wanted us to be familiar to our hometown and the people in Malaysia. At first I was very sad about it. That day, I had a lot of things going in my mind. I didn’t even know what to do and decided to just sleep early that night. The next morning, Minho waited in front of our house and I gave mom an excuse that I wasn’t feeling well. I just couldn’t see him again after what had happened yesterday. When I came back to school, all I could think of is what Syaoran’s last words were. Every time I see the empty desk behind me, I would feel really sad about it. A month passed on just like that and for that whole month I didn’t talk to Minho for once and I knew that he felt the same way. On the day of our last stay in that house, our family made a gathering with some friends that we made in the neighborhood since our first stay in Korea. During that whole event, I just stayed in my room. Suddenly, mom calls me to come down and I saw Minho beside her. He had a bag in his hand. Mom left us and went to entertain the other guests. Minho took me back to the playground where I met with Syaoran for the last time. He explains to me that he felt sorry for what he did to us when he interfere with our conversation and asked for forgiveness from Syaoran. Since that day, they would be exchanging e-mails. They became close, very close. Minho gave the bag in his hand to me and said that it was from Syaoran. I was completely surprised. It was a gray teddy bear. Suddenly I felt like crying. There was a letter inside. “A friend told me that if you make your own teddy bear and give it to the one you love, he or she won’t go away” after that I felt a tear falling of my cheek and a smile started to show but when I looked into Minho’s eyes I could tell that he was sad somehow. “Wah~ maybe I should say thanks to Syaoran, because of him I could see you smile again” he said with a smile on his face, a fake smile. I hugged him tightly. I wanted to make that fake smile turn into a real smile as gratitude