Monday, November 25, 2013

Chapter 7 : 'Feelings'

“Hello?” said Danny after a long pause. “I’ll call you back. I’m sorry” I said and switched the phone off. I knew that he would be really pissed off but what’s most important right now is… Minho? He just smiles and said “Annyeong (hello)” I greeted him back. I don’t know why but the atmosphere became awkward. “Are you staying here now?” he said to break off the awkwardness. “Ne (yes)” I replied simply. In my heart was a mixture of feelings - happy, sad and confused. It became silent again. My mind went completely blank. I didn’t know what to say or respond. I was stiff like a rock. He even looks like a statue, just standing there in front of me with that smile. Oh, how I miss that childish smile of his. Suddenly, I felt like crying because of joy not because of sadness. “I didn’t know you live here…” my voice trailed off because of wanting to refrain myself from crying in front of him. “Uh, that’s because I didn’t tell you about it. Are you here because of another assignment?” he asked me. “No. I already graduated. Mom wanted to move here. So… I moved…” Not knowing what to do next I asked for my leave when suddenly Taemin appeared. “Hyung, we have to go now or else we’ll be late” he walked out the door and looked at Minho. He didn’t see me so I said “Annyeong, Taemin ssi” he turned around facing me and was startled “Omo! Aiman ssi? Is it really you? Hyung, this isn’t a dream right?” Minho simply shook his head denying that it was a dream. Taemin looked at me again in disbelief “Are you moving here? Our new neighbor?” “Ne, Taemin ssi” I answered. Minho looked at his watch and realized that they were already 10 minutes beyond schedule. He took grab of Taemin’s arm and said “Aiman ssi, we’ll talk again later okay? Pali (hurry) Taemin. We’re late” Then, they were out of sight.
I locked the door and started walking to the park. It was spectacularly beautiful. The trees and the lake that was crystal clear. It was just amazing. After walking along the trees, I sat down on a bench and remembered about Danny. “Hello? Danny? I’m so sorry for hanging up on you earlier” Then there was a silence. I couldn’t hear anything from the other side of the line. “Are you mad?” “No, I’m not. It’s just that…” Finally, he spoke. “What’s wrong?” I asked out of curiosity. “I want to ask you an important question and please answer it honestly. Don’t hesitate with your answer, okay?” I knew things weren’t going so well because I could feel the tense building up within this conversation. “Did you… did you ever…. did you ever like me?” That certainly surprised me. “Danny... I... um…” I didn’t know what to say. Actually I do, it’s just that I was afraid that I might hurt his precious heart. “It’s okay, just tell me. Don’t worry, my heart is as tough as a rock… or steel… whichever is tougher” he said. I wanted to laugh at his joke but immediately I confessed. “I’m sorry Danny for making you suffer all this while with my lies. Are you sure you’re okay?” I was wondering if he was tearing at that moment. “Oh, okay. I’m fine. Absolutely fine. No worries. Thanks for being honest with me” Then, he just hung up. It’s already the third time my relationship never started but ended… well? I guess? Oh, what’s wrong with me? I don’t even know myself. How am I going to live this life and find the one true guy?
I left all that question at the park and went back home. As soon as I enter, it was still full of boxes. I realized that I only unpackaged a third of the whole boxes. After 2 hours dealing with those boxes, the bell rang. ~Ding Dong~. I opened the door and it was Minho and Onew. “Aiman ssi!!” Onew screamed and almost hugged me but he realized that if he did that than it would just make me feel awkward about it. “Hehe.. Aiman ssi, long time no see! How are you doing?” said Onew after sitting on the sofa in the living room. “I’m fine, thank you” “Wah~ How come your house seems bigger than ours?” Onew looked around in awe. “It’s because it’s still empty, hyung” Minho answered Onew’s question. “Ah, yeah. Didn’t think about that. Aiman ssi, here is a housewarming gift!” Onew handed me a box full of fried chickens. “Thanks! I’ll eat them later tonight” I said, smiling at him. He just frowns after hearing what I said. I knew the reason he got me fried chickens instead of a proper housewarming gift was because he wanted to eat it. “You know what? It’s no fun eating it all alone” he seemed very happy after getting the good news “Haha… Daebak (the best)!” I went to the kitchen to get something to drink. Fortunately, I already bought a dozen of canned drinks. While I was in the kitchen, Minho took a stroll on the house and saw there were still some boxes left unopened at the corner of the room. “Aiman ssi. Actually, another reason we came is to help you with handling the boxes” Minho just said while I was putting down the canned drinks on the coffee table. “What? Oh, no thanks. There are just a few more. I can handle them” I said didn’t want to burden them. “Are you sure? Because if there are any heavy things that you couldn’t carry, call us? Okay?” Onew said to me while digging in the fried chicken. He seems very happy indeed. I didn’t want to spoil his appetite by helping me doing all the hard work after a day of going on stage and singing. It must’ve been a really tiring day for them. Suddenly the bell rang. “Oh, it must be them” said Minho. “Nugu (who)?” I asked Onew. When I turned around it was Jonghyun, Key and Taemin. “Annyeong, Aiman ssi!!” Jonghyun almost screamed after seeing me again. “Wah, nice house. Needs a little bit sparkle though. SHINee sparkle.” He said while grinning a sinister smile at me. I just laughed. “Sorry we’re a bit late. There was a heavy traffic” Taemin simply said while digging in the chicken with Onew. “It’s okay, you didn’t have to come” “Oh, really? Then, Jonghyun. Let’s go back home” Key said as a joke while pulling Jonghyun’s arm. “Ani, don’t go yet. Actually, I miss you guys a lot. It’s been a while since we last saw each other” I really didn’t want them to go just yet. That night, we laughed a lot. I feel that maybe moving back to Korea wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
The next day, I went looking for a job as a scriptwriter and got it after meeting my aunt’s friend who runs one of the famous companies in the filming industry in Korea. As soon as I got home, I decided to start writing a rough script to show it to the director. It was really tiring but the result came out nicely done. It’s a historical drama set in the Goryeo period, 700 years ago. There would be actions, a little bit of comedy but of course the main genre is romance. After finishing it at about 2 am in the morning, I decided to have a walk at the park. I knew that it was really late and I needed to take a rest to make the presentation a success for tomorrow. As soon as I locked the door and turned around, it was Minho. He seemed as shocked as I am. “What are doing still awake?” he asked first. “I just want to take a walk at the park” “Alone?” he asked again. “Ne (yes)” I answered simply. “What about you?” I asked him next. “I was going to take a walk too” He shoved something behind him and it was a black plastic bag. I knew that he was actually going to throw the rubbish away but I guess that he wanted to join me. Before he could open his mouth, I offered him to join me and he simply answers yes. After throwing the rubbish into the dumpster, we walked along the sidewalk in the park. It was really cold that night. I forgot to bring my sweater so I just bear with it but I guess he felt the same way and saw me not wearing a sweater so he handed me his jacket. “Gomawo (thanks)” he smiles and asked to sit down first on a bench. I wanted to ask him how he was doing after the incident at the restaurant but I just couldn’t open my mouth as it was really freezing. “I didn’t saw you since this morning. Where did you go?” he asked. “Oh, I was looking for a job” “So, did you get it?” he seemed anticipated with my answer I don’t know why. “Ne, I got a job as a scriptwriter” “Really? So, have you write a story yet? Can I…” he didn’t continue with his question but looked at me with that childish smile. “What? You want to act in my drama? Can you act?” I asked back at him. “What? Are you underestimating my ability in acting?” he said as if he was really upset with my questions earlier “Okay, if the director says okay. Then…” Suddenly he jumps from the bench and yelled “Chincha (really)?! Thank you! You know, I really wanted to be an actor besides a singer” he seemed really happy. “And since it’s your drama, I would act really well for you… YOUR boss. I meant, I would be a great actor… for your boss, the director” I couldn’t hear his last words because I felt my ear were going numb from the coldness. I stood up and said “Okay, Minho ssi. I have to go back now, it’s really late” I turned around when I felt my hand was being pulled. “Wait, Aiman ssi” I turned around, it was him holding my hand. “Do you… still have… ” he paused “Have what?” he looked down to the ground and back at me “That feeling?” My eyes were wide open after hearing the word ‘feeling’. I tried denying what my mind was saying. ‘The feeling that you like him’. “What… feeling?” I tried talking but I could only hear my teeth chattering. “The feeling that you had for me” he said “Uh, Minho ssi. I really have to go now. I might wake up late” I tugged my hand out of his grip and walked back home with his jacket still on my shoulders. I didn’t want to think about what happened earlier and went straight to bed.
After printing the last script, I went straight outside and took Minho’s jacket which was on the dresser by the door. As expected, he came out and I just handed him his jacket hoping that he won’t mention about what he said last night. “Gomawo” After he said that, I was about to walk away when he called me “Aiman ssi” I froze. “Please don’t say it! Please don’t say it!” I was yelling in my mind. “Make sure I get to be in your drama, okay?” “Whew…” I said to myself with a feeling of relief. “Why did you sigh?” he asked me. I guess I sigh really loud that he could hear it. “Uh, okay, I’ll make sure of it” I turned around, facing him while giving a smile. I didn’t know if I gave him a real or fake smile. As Aiman walked outside the building, Minho was still upstairs watching her leave for work. Every step she took, Minho would just be observing until she disappeared when she took a turn at the corner.
While I was in the bus, I wondered if he forgot about last night or he just knew that I would avoid him even more if he was ever to speak about ‘feelings’. I greeted the workers while I was on my way to meet the director to hand in my script. As I entered, I saw a man sitting facing away from the door. I couldn’t see his face. “I’m sorry for intruding your meeting” I was about to leave when the director called me to sit down with them. As soon as I saw his face, I was completely shocked. It was Kim Woo Bin.

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