Sunday, November 17, 2013

Chapter 4 : Confused Feeling

“With Aiman ssi?” Onew asked. “Aniyo, what are you talking about hyung-nim?” Minho just said it while facing to the other side trying to avoid eye contact. Onew just replied “Mm… okay” and left the room. “Why is my heart beating really fast when hyung-nim mentioned Aiman’s name?” Minho questioned himself while analyzing the book. He kept remembering the moment when he was in the car with Aiman earlier. He was driving along the road and realized that Aiman already fell asleep. Suddenly, he spoke “Are you asleep Aiman ssi?” he just whispers not wanting to wake her up from her deep sleep because he knew she was tired filming the whole day. He just giggled and said “Kyeopta (so cute)
I rose up from bed and it was already noon. I guess I was so tired from yesterday, I overslept. I remembered receiving a message from Syaoran last night but because I was too tired to even lift a finger I didn’t reply right away. I checked my phone again and there was another message saying “I’m sorry for texting you suddenly last night. I knew you were already asleep as you didn’t reply my message. So, I’m just texting you again to tell you that I’ll be waiting at the café this evening” I realized that if I were too late I just might not get to see him again. There was a chaos at that time as I was trying every clothes that I had to dress up nicely to meet with Syaoran later on. I arrived at the café just in time. I guess I was a bit early because he wasn’t there yet. I waited for him to show up. He came and sat down. “Syaoran, I’m really grateful for your gift. So, I wanted to th…” Suddenly, he stopped me and spoke. “Aiman ssi, to be honest. It wasn’t me who gave you that teddy bear” as soon as I heard that from his mouth, I took aback and stuttered a bit. “Oh… re-really? But Minho said…” Then, I realized something. Even on the letter that came with the teddy bear, it didn’t mention from whom. “Well, if you’re saying that it wasn’t you I guess it was someone else then” I said with a bit of disappointment. “Actually, I wanted to tell you the unspoken words from before were…” Somehow I didn’t think that those words “I like you” from the dream would be the words that are coming out of his mouth. I was really hoping Minho would show up and stop this madness. I knew I just have to accept the consequences. “The unspoken words from before were, even if I’m not around, there would always be someone to love and care you when I’m gone and that someone is Minho hyung” It totally ruin my fantasy and felt like crying at that very moment but when he mentioned Minho’s name, my tears were hold aback. “I knew that you had a heart for me but I don’t deserve that. Maybe you don’t realize it but at that time, there was someone else who had a stronger love for you than I did. Right now, I really hope that you can see him carrying his love for you” I didn’t know what to do next but just stare into his eyes and yes. He’s telling the truth. “All this while, I thought you were the one but it turns out it was only a one-sided love” I felt difficult saying those words because it felt like there was a huge lump stuck in my throat. “It’s not too late for that one-sided love to be complete” Those were the last words I ever heard from him. The REAL last words. He stood up and left me at the café alone with my sadness to accompany me. As soon as he exited out of the café, I started to shed tears. It felt like it was raining and my tears just keep falling until there were dry. A call came, it was Minho. I just couldn’t answer it because he might only hear me crying than me talking. After I regain myself, I called him back. Hoping he wouldn’t hear me sobbing but it seems he was smarter than what I thought. “Aiman ssi, waeyo (what’s wrong)? Are you okay? Why are you crying? Did someone made you cry?” Instantly my heart stopped beating. Those questions are the exact same questions he asked me 7 years ago. At that moment I just wished he was there with me to comfort me. For that few seconds, I thought. Maybe I need to open my heart again for him? I felt my willing to help him get his memories back became stronger “Where are you?” he asked “I’m at the cinema. I’m watching a sad movie” I said trying to cover up. “I’ll just call you later then” Minho said “No!” I didn’t want him to just hang up. I feel that I still need to hear his voice a bit longer to ease my pain. “It’s okay, just tell me why you called” “I want to invite you to din… I mean, I wanted to give back your book. You left it in the car last night. I’ll text you the place and time” I decided to take that chance to tell him everything about our past.
We met that night at the place where he wanted to meet. It was a restaurant just at the corner of the town. Of course he reserved a private room so that no one could recognize him as Minho from SHINee. I entered the room and it was just beautiful with a chandelier on top and the table was decorated just nice. He stood up from his seat, pulled out my chair and I sat down. He looked so handsome with the suit that he was wearing. “Aren’t you hungry? Let’s order!” he just looks very nice that night. I didn’t want to reject his kindness because I wanted to repay the lost time that I wasted for being so cold to him for the past 7 years. The dinner was very delicious. He handed me a bag and in it was my book. He must’ve wanted to give it to me in a special way because it was nicely wrapped. It was very sweet of him. “Actually, while the book was in my hand, I tried reading it but it was written in Malay and I couldn’t understand. Could you explain it to me what it is about?” I unwrapped it and the synopsis was in Malay so I translated it for him. “A love-line started to form between two people. At first the girl had struggle because of her partner. He lost his memories in an accident once. Will they be able to form the perfect love-line and keep it strong till the end of time?” My voice trailed off at the end. Somehow I felt that the question was actually redirecting to the both of us. “Wow, it seems like a very interesting book just by reading the synopsis, right?” I just nodded. “What’s the title of the book?” he asked “Close Your Heart. Come to think of it the title seems strange. What does it mean?” I wondered by myself when suddenly, he spoke. “It means the girl has to love her partner and then close her heart with him inside of it so her love for him would be eternal” I was amazed with his words “How did you come up with that?” I asked “I’m a singer and also a songwriter. I guess my years spent on writing songs about love made me understand things like this” he said it with confidence and those few minutes certainly brighten up my day after a lot of crying. After that talk about the book, I felt like it kind of gave me some support in making that love-line between us stronger. I figured that maybe I don’t have to recover his memories from the past because we can always make new ones.
After that long talk, we were about to leave when suddenly something dropped from the book. It fell in front of Minho. He picked it up and suddenly he touched his head as if he was attacked with a serious headache, a painful one. “Waeyo?” I asked “This… this…” and suddenly he fainted to the ground. I took a look at the photo and it was a picture of…. us 7 years ago

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